People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
