i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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