I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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