Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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