Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
