All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize