one two three fourrrrnication!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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