What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
