just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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