i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
