The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
