It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize