I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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