i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
