I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
