i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
