So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
