That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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