so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
