if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize