Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
