You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
