My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
