Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
