hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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