We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
