You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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