i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
