I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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