WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Sober January is a disaster.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
