last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
