Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
