Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
