you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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