Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
