i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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