conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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