Jerry, you need to find god
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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