Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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