Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
