what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
