My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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