when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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