i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
the liver wants what the liver wants
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
