I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
