can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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