It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
