There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
