Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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