Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
