Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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