is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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