I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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