Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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