Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize