I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
