the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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