dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As shirtless as possible
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
